It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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