make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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