It's like God shit irony all over that family
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
