I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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