I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
