Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
