people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
