He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
That reminds me...we need to get swords
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
