Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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