Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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