with your own penis?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
