I want to make a zoo with you.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
