please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
