i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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