The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
