Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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