A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
This beer is not sobering me up at all
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You need a sexual gate keeper
Also, beer. Big fan.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
