Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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