your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
