So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I currently don't understand fingers.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
