Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
