You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
