his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
