he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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