i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
