I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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