Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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