Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You can't just leave with hair like that
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
