dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
