i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
