i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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