how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
