my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
