Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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