So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
