Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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