So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize