you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
