no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
