Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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