There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize