i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
she peed on how many people?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize