I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I wish I only lived at night.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
