After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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