i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
