yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Randomize
