ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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