summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
