is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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