no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I looked at my own cervix.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
