okay pat passed out under dana's car
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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