Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
