I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
