there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
