big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
