If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
