you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
