i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
this hospital has no fireball
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
