i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize