This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
