They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
