I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
